Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Monday, December 8, 2003
PS
PS
The scent is intoxicating
It fills my thoughts with excitement
My body with desire
My soul with ecstasy
It’s a very masculine scent
It brings out the hunger inside me
Made of a blend of lavender, sage and jasmine,
And rose and amber and musk…
PS
As I lie in bed at night
I smell this engaging aroma
As it lingers upon on my pillows
Thoughts of the rendezvous
Running through my head
Thinking of the times we shared
So tender and so fond
The scent is intoxicating
It fills my thoughts with excitement
My body with desire
My soul with ecstasy
It’s a very masculine scent
It brings out the hunger inside me
Made of a blend of lavender, sage and jasmine,
And rose and amber and musk…
PS
As I lie in bed at night
I smell this engaging aroma
As it lingers upon on my pillows
Thoughts of the rendezvous
Running through my head
Thinking of the times we shared
So tender and so fond
Friday, December 5, 2003
Sunday, November 23, 2003
Monday, November 17, 2003
Monday, November 3, 2003
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Friday, October 3, 2003
Michael
Michael
I’m just stumped then, if he love(s)/love (d)/cared.... for me at all, why he would give up on me so easily.
One night I wish that I could take back is the night we professed our love for one another.
Not that I would really ever want to give up that moment, heck, five minutes of feeling the real thing (love) is better than to have never felt it at all. However, I would of much rather that I never knew that/if he loved me, rather than him pretending he did for whatever reason.
I wish that I would have secluded my feelings more.
We were lying in bed on September 2 and he took a hold of my hand and caressed it, he looked into my eyes, so deep, so entrance, I could literally see my soul in his eyes and his soul in his eyes as well.
(I had been saying so much lately: "I Like you Michael, I like you so much. Kind of like when people in love blurt it out when they feel it, instead of saying love, cause I wasn’t sure (until that point) that it really was love that I felt in my heart for Michael. So I would just keep blurting out, “I like you Michael...”)
As we looked into one another’s eyes that night he said "Mary… you can say you like me all you want but I know you love me."
My body stopped moving, like all my senses stopped working for a moment in time, I was literally SPEECHLESS for the first time in my life.
(Mind you I had never been in love before.)
I was scared more than anything, scared I guess because I was scared of letting my true feelings be known, scared of ultimately getting hurt.
So after a few more moments of pure silence and just staring so in love at one another…
He was still caressing my hand and looking deep into my eyes when he said: "I can't believe this...
I said "what?"
He said" I can't believe that I am falling in love with the whole package."
I was, again… all of the above…
Speechless, breathless... Couldn’t move nor speak.
I couldn’t do anything but peer at our souls in his eyes.
Shortly after that was the first time we made love, mind you not the first time we had sex, but the first time we made, pure, passionate, intimate, love, so close.
At one point he even said: "Mary…"
I said "yes?"
He said, "This is so wonderful."
I must have seemed puzzled wondering what exactly he meant by that...
He said, "This is as close as two people can get, I feel soooooo wonderful"
When we commenced our “I love you’s”....
I didn’t want to be the first one to say it (referring to my way of thinking I mentioned earlier, about not liking someone more than they like me, I need to know that they like me as much as I like them kind of thing.)
But...
I let all inhibitions go momentarily. Well actually the entire time I was with Michael, all of our relationship, especially from that point on..
I looked into his eyes and then tipped my head back and shouted out "I love you!, I love you!!!!!, I love you!!!!!!!!!!!"
I then looked back into his eyes and he into mine...
He then said, so sincerely, "I love YOU Mary!!!!"
And that’s when tears started coming like… rain. I was crying like a baby. I lost full control of myself and threw all my heart, mind, body and soul out for Michael…hoping only, that he would grasp onto it all for dear life and never let it go: me go.
I found out later, the next day, when we were on the way to taking me home, we got to talking about when the last time we cried...
(He obviously knew mine.)
He was speechless for a few moments.
And then said "you mean cried, or really cried?"
My response was, "either…"
He then said "last night when we were making love."
I had no idea I was getting that response when I asked that simple question that night. I had no idea that he had cried, but I guess he had. I guess I never thought I could ever have that kind of impact on a man…
I’m just stumped then, if he love(s)/love (d)/cared.... for me at all, why he would give up on me so easily.
One night I wish that I could take back is the night we professed our love for one another.
Not that I would really ever want to give up that moment, heck, five minutes of feeling the real thing (love) is better than to have never felt it at all. However, I would of much rather that I never knew that/if he loved me, rather than him pretending he did for whatever reason.
I wish that I would have secluded my feelings more.
We were lying in bed on September 2 and he took a hold of my hand and caressed it, he looked into my eyes, so deep, so entrance, I could literally see my soul in his eyes and his soul in his eyes as well.
(I had been saying so much lately: "I Like you Michael, I like you so much. Kind of like when people in love blurt it out when they feel it, instead of saying love, cause I wasn’t sure (until that point) that it really was love that I felt in my heart for Michael. So I would just keep blurting out, “I like you Michael...”)
As we looked into one another’s eyes that night he said "Mary… you can say you like me all you want but I know you love me."
My body stopped moving, like all my senses stopped working for a moment in time, I was literally SPEECHLESS for the first time in my life.
(Mind you I had never been in love before.)
I was scared more than anything, scared I guess because I was scared of letting my true feelings be known, scared of ultimately getting hurt.
So after a few more moments of pure silence and just staring so in love at one another…
He was still caressing my hand and looking deep into my eyes when he said: "I can't believe this...
I said "what?"
He said" I can't believe that I am falling in love with the whole package."
I was, again… all of the above…
Speechless, breathless... Couldn’t move nor speak.
I couldn’t do anything but peer at our souls in his eyes.
Shortly after that was the first time we made love, mind you not the first time we had sex, but the first time we made, pure, passionate, intimate, love, so close.
At one point he even said: "Mary…"
I said "yes?"
He said, "This is so wonderful."
I must have seemed puzzled wondering what exactly he meant by that...
He said, "This is as close as two people can get, I feel soooooo wonderful"
When we commenced our “I love you’s”....
I didn’t want to be the first one to say it (referring to my way of thinking I mentioned earlier, about not liking someone more than they like me, I need to know that they like me as much as I like them kind of thing.)
But...
I let all inhibitions go momentarily. Well actually the entire time I was with Michael, all of our relationship, especially from that point on..
I looked into his eyes and then tipped my head back and shouted out "I love you!, I love you!!!!!, I love you!!!!!!!!!!!"
I then looked back into his eyes and he into mine...
He then said, so sincerely, "I love YOU Mary!!!!"
And that’s when tears started coming like… rain. I was crying like a baby. I lost full control of myself and threw all my heart, mind, body and soul out for Michael…hoping only, that he would grasp onto it all for dear life and never let it go: me go.
I found out later, the next day, when we were on the way to taking me home, we got to talking about when the last time we cried...
(He obviously knew mine.)
He was speechless for a few moments.
And then said "you mean cried, or really cried?"
My response was, "either…"
He then said "last night when we were making love."
I had no idea I was getting that response when I asked that simple question that night. I had no idea that he had cried, but I guess he had. I guess I never thought I could ever have that kind of impact on a man…
Categories
exes,
journaling
Friday, September 26, 2003
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Thursday, September 11, 2003
I Just Wanted to Tell You
I Just Wanted to Tell You
I just wanted tell you how much I love you. I hope and pray that God grants us to be able to spend the rest of our lives with one another.
I have never felt this way or loved anyone as I do you. I promise my undying love for you. I cannot wait until the nights that you hold me close and the mornings that I wake in your arms.
I love you from the bottom of my heart and it will always be that way.
I cannot wait to look back and see all the wonderful memories we will make.
Until the day that we become one I anticipate being with you every possible moment that I can.
I want you to know that you have my heart now and no one else will for as long as I live
No one will ever love you as much as I do. This is how I truly feel deep down inside.
You are my best friend and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Forever and always,
Mary
I just wanted tell you how much I love you. I hope and pray that God grants us to be able to spend the rest of our lives with one another.
I have never felt this way or loved anyone as I do you. I promise my undying love for you. I cannot wait until the nights that you hold me close and the mornings that I wake in your arms.
I love you from the bottom of my heart and it will always be that way.
I cannot wait to look back and see all the wonderful memories we will make.
Until the day that we become one I anticipate being with you every possible moment that I can.
I want you to know that you have my heart now and no one else will for as long as I live
No one will ever love you as much as I do. This is how I truly feel deep down inside.
You are my best friend and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Forever and always,
Mary
Categories
exes,
journaling
Saturday, August 23, 2003
Monday, June 16, 2003
A Little About Me
I like goatees, but I also love the feel of clean shaven, baby butt smoothness against my
face.
I prefer brownies to cake, cookies, or any other sweet food, junk food for that matter.
I like warm, fuzzy pajamas in the winter and silky nighties in the summer.
I like my eggs prepared over-medium.
I melt for ‘making out’.
‘Inside jokes’ are great!
I love hair, but then again bald men do something for me too.
Great sex, need I say more?
Prefer the beach to a pool, any day.
If you could have any super-human ability what would it be- me- to fly, of course!
Country- two words- Conway Twitty
A few Christmas stocking traditions- smoked oysters, Slim Jims, Lifesaver Storybooks, Pez…the list goes on and on.
I love the sun, moon and stars- ask to see my tattoo.
I don’t do drugs and do not associate with anyone that does.
I have no regrets; I look at it very plain and simple: everything you do, you do it for a reason. It is up to you to find out the answer- why?
You are where you need to be when you need to be there.
I love meeting new people; each person brings something new into your life.
People come into out lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Politics and religion are two topics of conversation that I try to stay away from, these things should not be debated about, everyone can have their own opinion, I agree.
Tenacious.
Diverse.
Time travel- now that would be fun!
Retirement; will that even be a possibility in my later years?
Education: constant.
My father died when I was ten.
Been there, done that- Michigan, Ohio, Illinois, Indiana, Canada, California.
Haven’t been there, haven’t done that- Hockey game,
No strange body piercing here.
face.
I prefer brownies to cake, cookies, or any other sweet food, junk food for that matter.
I like warm, fuzzy pajamas in the winter and silky nighties in the summer.
I like my eggs prepared over-medium.
I melt for ‘making out’.
‘Inside jokes’ are great!
I love hair, but then again bald men do something for me too.
Great sex, need I say more?
Prefer the beach to a pool, any day.
If you could have any super-human ability what would it be- me- to fly, of course!
Country- two words- Conway Twitty
A few Christmas stocking traditions- smoked oysters, Slim Jims, Lifesaver Storybooks, Pez…the list goes on and on.
I love the sun, moon and stars- ask to see my tattoo.
I don’t do drugs and do not associate with anyone that does.
I have no regrets; I look at it very plain and simple: everything you do, you do it for a reason. It is up to you to find out the answer- why?
You are where you need to be when you need to be there.
I love meeting new people; each person brings something new into your life.
People come into out lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Politics and religion are two topics of conversation that I try to stay away from, these things should not be debated about, everyone can have their own opinion, I agree.
Tenacious.
Diverse.
Time travel- now that would be fun!
Retirement; will that even be a possibility in my later years?
Education: constant.
My father died when I was ten.
Been there, done that- Michigan, Ohio, Illinois, Indiana, Canada, California.
Haven’t been there, haven’t done that- Hockey game,
No strange body piercing here.
Categories
journaling,
survey
Tuesday, March 4, 2003
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Sunday, December 22, 2002
Thursday, August 22, 2002
Saturday, July 13, 2002
Saturday, April 27, 2002
My Bells Palsy Story
My Bells Palsy Story
The date was Saturday April 27, 2002, I awoke around 12:00a.m., awaking so late because I had been out until 5:00 a.m. at a friends house having a few drinks. When I woke up I played around on the computer for a while. Around 1:30 p.m. I was starting to get a little hungry so I threw on some clothes and a hat, and headed out for some lunch.
I went out for a burger and a beer. I ordered a Bud Light in the bottle and a glass of water (with a straw for the water as usual.) I sat there and began drinking the beer, noticing that I couldn’t quite drink the beer out of the bottle without some of it dribbling down my face. It felt weird, like I couldn’t quite seal my lips around it enough. Then I would take a drink of the water without any problems. But when I went back to take a drink of the beer, without fail, I couldn’t. I was starting to get a little frustrated. Soon after my food arrived; I had ordered a burger and fries. I started to eat, noticing that I couldn’t fit the burger in my mouth; it felt as though my lip was in the way. I struggled through to finish my meal and beer, I seemed to have struggled so much that I was starting to break a sweat just trying to eat. How strange was that? I must have sat there trying to eat for close to an hour. When I got up to leave I felt exhausted. I left and went back home. Arriving at home I just tried to forget about it and relax. I laid on my bed and played some more on the computer. Soon enough I had forgotten how hard it was and my mind felt at ease again.
To Be Continued
The date was Saturday April 27, 2002, I awoke around 12:00a.m., awaking so late because I had been out until 5:00 a.m. at a friends house having a few drinks. When I woke up I played around on the computer for a while. Around 1:30 p.m. I was starting to get a little hungry so I threw on some clothes and a hat, and headed out for some lunch.
I went out for a burger and a beer. I ordered a Bud Light in the bottle and a glass of water (with a straw for the water as usual.) I sat there and began drinking the beer, noticing that I couldn’t quite drink the beer out of the bottle without some of it dribbling down my face. It felt weird, like I couldn’t quite seal my lips around it enough. Then I would take a drink of the water without any problems. But when I went back to take a drink of the beer, without fail, I couldn’t. I was starting to get a little frustrated. Soon after my food arrived; I had ordered a burger and fries. I started to eat, noticing that I couldn’t fit the burger in my mouth; it felt as though my lip was in the way. I struggled through to finish my meal and beer, I seemed to have struggled so much that I was starting to break a sweat just trying to eat. How strange was that? I must have sat there trying to eat for close to an hour. When I got up to leave I felt exhausted. I left and went back home. Arriving at home I just tried to forget about it and relax. I laid on my bed and played some more on the computer. Soon enough I had forgotten how hard it was and my mind felt at ease again.
To Be Continued
Categories
Bell's Palsy
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