Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

It’s November 13th 2006, mom. My world just came crashing down; I just found out that your time on Earth is through. I feel completely numb - inside and out. My voice shakes, my knees tremble and my heart feels so incomplete- a piece of it will always be with you, mom. It’s okay though- you're in Heaven now, right where you wanted to be. We'll join you one day, just you wait and see.

It’s November 23rd 2006, mom. It’s Thanksgiving, one of the best days of the year. A day where you can almost guarantee we will always be together. We had dinner in your apartment; it felt like you were there with us. Makayla took her very first steps today and I was actually able to get a picture of it. Tomorrow is Dad’s birthday, please tell him ‘Happy Birthday’ for us, kiss him on the cheek and tell him how much we love and miss him, too.

It’s December 6th, 2006, mom. We set up the Christmas tree today and decorated the house. It was a very hard thing to do; going through all of the ornaments and decorations of yours. As I found each their perfect home I couldn’t help but picture them strategically placed around your houses with the accents of fake snow. I think my favorite is the carolers that you crocheted; they are stunning even after all these years. I also love your. She is and always will be the topper on our trees. It was an emotional day to say the least. I never would have ever imagined it would have been this hard. I miss you so much mommy! I love you!

It’s December 9th, 2006, mom. James and Erin got married today. You would have been so very proud. It was a beautiful event at a really nice place up north. I was standing on the terrace and the wind blew, I could feel your arms wrapped around me and your lips touch my cheek. It was surreal to say the least.

It’s December 17th, 2006, mom. We took the kids to see Santa today. You would have been so proud; they looked wonderful and were so happy- just gleaming.
Doug, Jim, Erin and I drove to Grand Rapids to see Joe yesterday. This is the first time we have seen him since that Easter a few years back.

It’s December 23rd, 2006, mom. Doug and I took the kids to Aunt Debbie’s today to celebrate Christmas with them; Uncle Steve and Aunt Pat were there too. Aunt Debbie went out of her way and set up a table for the kids to make Gingerbread houses. The kids had a blast. They were so proud of their creations.
Makayla’s birthday was two days ago but we are celebrating it tomorrow when Doug’s family is over for the Christmas Eve get-together.

It’s December 25th, 2006, mom, Christmas Day. This is another day of the year that you can almost guarantee that we would all be together. I miss you so incredibly much. The holidays are so hard. What made it a little easier was the kids- they had a great time; I’m sure it was their best Christmas ever.

It’s January 14th, 2007, mom. It’s James’ birthday. We had a party for him at Caesarland. The kids had a lot of fun! I made confetti cupcakes; they were delicious.

It’s January 26th, 2007, mom. I’m pregnant mom! Can you believe it!? No joke; this isn’t April Fools! I am on cloud nine! The first thing I thought about when I looked at the stick and saw that it was positive – was you mom. I can’t believe I am about to embark on this journey without you here.

It’s February 23rd, 2007, mom. Doug and I went to our first doctor appointment for the baby today. We had an ultrasound and saw it on the screen and hear its little heartbeat. It was the most amazing thing!

It’s March 28th, 2007, mom. The kids moved out today.

It’s April 6th, 2007, mom. Your grandson Orion David is here!! Two days until Jim’s birthday and nine before Erin’s. I can’t wait to meet my lil nephew!!
I had another ultrasound this afternoon. It was very exciting. You could see her whole body; she was moving around like crazy.

It’s April 7th, 2007, mom. I drove to Lansing to see Orion today. He is so amazing, mom. You would love to sit and hold him. He looks just like Jim.
I also met Aniyah today. I really wish you would have had the chance to see her, she’s beautiful; looks just like Arianna. You would be very proud of her.
Tomorrow is Easter, mom. I will be making your special rotisserie ham and scalloped potatoes.

It’s April 28th, 2007, mom. Doug and I drove into Lansing a couple weeks ago to meet up with Jim, Erin and newborn Orion. We had brunch at Clara’s. Do you remember Clara’s- the place that we went that one year that we didn’t go to Red Lobster for Mother’s Day. It was a mistake that day, but today was great.
Doug and I drove to Grand Ledge today and had lunch at Cugino’s with Jim, Erin, Orion, Aunt Debbie, Uncle Steve, Aunt Pat, Jennifer and Evan. We had ice cream afterwards. It was a lovely day.
OH! I forgot to tell you! Jennifer is pregnant too! She is due right around Thanksgiving! I can't believe that we are all having babies this year!

It’s May 13th 2007, mom, Happy Mother’s Day! This is my first Mother’s Day, it is weird though, you are not here and Addison is not here either. Yes, that’s right- we found out a couple days ago that we are having a girl! You would have been the first I would have called to share the wonderful news. I can’t wait to form that special bond with her that you and I had. Aunt Debbie and I spent the day together. We went shopping and out to lunch. It was a very nice afternoon. Doug’s birthday was yesterday and we had a bbq party for him last weekend. As you know- Joe’s birthday is in two days. I can say- you would be proud of him, too.

It’s June 4th, 2007, mom, Happy Birthday Mom!! I love you sooo much! I can only imagine the perfect card and beautiful flowers I would have picked out for you.
Doug and I got back a few days ago from celebrating our two year anniversary in New York. We had a great time and saw so much more than we did when we were on our honeymoon.

It’s July 14th, 2007, mom. Katie had her 5th child the day after your birthday; his name is Mason Lee Cameron. He looks just like his daddy. Brittany graduated high school and we went to her open house at Fitzgerald Park in Grand Ledge today. It was so nice seeing everyone; it’s been a long time.

It’s July 17th, 2007, mom, it’s Father’s day. Will you tell dad that we say ‘Happy Father’s Day’ and give him a big hug and kiss for us.
Tomorrow is Aunt Pat’s birthday!

It's August 4th, 2007, mom. Yesterday was Christina's 6th birthday. We had a birthday party for her today at Doug's brother Mark's house. She is getting so big!

It’s August 11th, 2007, mom. Today is my baby shower. It was so perfect! The only thing missing was you. I definitely felt your presence today as I do on most big events. I know you are up there watching over all of us through good times and bad. Especially when times are tough I simply picture your face and smile and know that everything will be okay.

It’s August 12th, 2007, mom. Today is Orion’s dedication. It was a beautiful event mom. You would have been so proud of the husband and father that your son had become.

It’s September 2nd, 2007, mom. Your granddaughter Addison Kay was born tonight at 10:10pm, weighing 5 pounds, 12.9 ounces, measuring 18 inches!
I hope you don’t mind that I gave her your middle name. You will always have a special place in her heart. I felt your presence over the last couple of days more than any other time. I needed you the most tonight mom and I felt your hand upon my heart.
I have always thought and now more so than ever that when one life ends a new one begins.

It’s September 3rd, mom. Doug and I got to meet our daughter today!!! I delivered her via c-section last night and because her health was so frail they showed her to me and whisked her away to the Special Care Nursery. We weren’t able to see her for over 12 hours! It was excruciating. But when I finally did get to go in and hold the life we created, my life felt instantly complete. I felt your presence so intensely today and I am sure that you are the angel that is and will continue to watch over our dear miracle.

It’s September 8th, 2007, mom. As you are well aware- it’s my birthday today. It was my hardest birthday by far since you were not here to share our special day nor was Addison, mom. She’s been in the hospital, in the special care nursery. She had some complications but we are hoping she will get to come home soon. When I sit in the rocker and hold my precious daughter in my arms I can feel your arms wrapped around us.

It’s September 13th, 2007, mom. Yesterday was aunt Debbie’s birthday! And today Addison gets released from the hospital. I cannot believe I am actually going to be able to walk out that door with our baby girl. It is surreal to say the least. It has been a rollercoaster over the last 11 days with her being in the hospital. Having to leave her behind when I was discharged was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

It’s September 23rd, 2007, mom. Addison has been home for good for a little over a week now. She had to be readmitted a couple days after she came home for a couple days. She wasn’t breathing so well. She has been great since, though.
Doug and I took Christina to a carnival today. She had the time of her life. She has been living with us for a week now. She is doing great.

It’s October 31st, 2007, mom. It’s Halloween! Addison was a pumpkin this year. She was so cute. Christina moved back home last week.

It’s November 13th, 2007, mom. I can’t believe that you have been gone a year. This has been the best and the worst year of my life. I never thought that I would be able to wake up and face each new day without you here but somehow I have. I’m sure that it’s been possible with the help of the miracle you blessed us with.


I sit here and ponder how very much
I'd like to talk with you today
There are so many things
That we didn't get to say.
I know how much you care for me
And how much I care for you,
And each time that I think of you
I know you'll miss me too.
An angel came and took you by the hand and said
Your place was ready in Heaven, far above . . .
And you had to leave behind all those you dearly loved
You had so much to live for, you had so much to do . . .
It still seems impossible that God was taking you.
And though your life on earth is over, in Heaven it starts anew
You'll live for all eternity, just as God has promised you.
And though you've walked through Heaven's gate
We are never far apart
For every time I think of you,
You're right here, deep with-in my heart.