Finding Out

Current mood: ecstatic

Tonight had to be the most exciting, yet scary night of my life!

I thought I was a week or two late so I had Doug bring a pregnancy test home on his way home from work. There were three in the kit and I did the first one right away, before dinner. Throughout dinner I kept checking it over and over and it wouldn't read anything. Then finally the last time I checked it – it read "See Leaflet". I realized that I had not done the test right. So the wait began…

About an hour later I preformed another test, only to have that one fail too. I was miserable, the wait was excruciating!

So about 7:30 p.m. I tested once more. I put it down and walked away. I wasn't eager this time because I feared disappointment once more. About three minutes later I went in to check the stick and see what the results were.

I looked at the stick a couple times, refreshing my eyes to make sure I was actually seeing what I was seeing. I was in utter shock. It felt as though the whole world slowed down as I leaned over to pick up the stick. I carried it ever so gently out to the living room where Doug and Christina were sitting, cuddling. I could hardly speak, I felt so numb; when all of a sudden I burst out crying hysterically as I handed the stick to Doug. He propped up his glasses and brought the stick closer to his eyes and read the results for himself.

"Oh my God, oh my God" must have been the only thing I said over and over until the shock wore off. I was happy, happier than I have ever been. I was scared, more scared then I've ever been. I had never imagined how I would react when I were to find out, but I never thought scared would be a word to describe how I was feeling.

All kinds of thoughts were already racing through my mind; then the thought of the first person, after Doug of course, that I want to tell. Well she is not with us anymore, and that is what threw my emotions into a whirlwind. Doug and I hugged each other while I continued to sob. Shortly thereafter I composed myself because I knew what I was doing wasn't doing any good, and I was probably scaring Christina.

I stood up, dried my eyes, grabbed the stick back from Doug and ran into the office to take a picture of it before the word "PREGNANT" disappeared for good. I wanted that word to be forever viewable and the only way for that to be was to capture it on camera.